First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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