i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
