How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize