There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
