I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
