Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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