Jerry, you need to find god
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize