He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
