I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
