Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
