i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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