Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
