You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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