Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
