Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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