it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
