I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
