Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
