I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize