Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
