That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
