It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you traded sex for a burrito?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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