I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize