I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
