Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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