there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
they need to just BURY HIM!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
