everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
