Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
