I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize