she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
