I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
