Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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