I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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