My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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