ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
