Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
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