I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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