its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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