piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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