I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You were trust falling into bushes
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
