I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Randomize
