Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
