Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
