From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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