Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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