Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
