Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
