I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
