what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
