I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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