CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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