the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
