people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
