also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
