Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
