How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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