This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize