Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
