I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
