Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
