I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize